How Do You keep peddling, when you need to climb? But at the same time you're
not sure you can make it to the top or peek around to the other side.
are you one that gives up to easily, when faced with a crisis, or rises to
challenge you?
We have friends with cancer, heart diseases, kidney failure, lung
problems,wheelchair bound..they at one time was active, sporty, eager going
folks, that could take care of not only yourself but your family as well..some
of you are even on this list, that your abdomen, stomachaches, and brain
functions, and surgeries has not solved some problems, and some of you are given
only less than 99.9 % to make it..luckily if 50/50%.
Yes, you that had won gifts, and prizes of travel, promotions in your jobs, Some
of you have been in the fastest race speeds of history. Some have been school
teachers, doctor's,lawyers, Nurses, Ministers,Evangelist, Missionary's,
Chemist,Truck drivers, Computerizer's,Office helpers, Salesmen and
Saleswomen.ETC.. y0u name it..occupations that many of us would not dare touch
with a ten-foot-pole, because it was not the thing we were called to do..but
again we have musicians, mechanics,mataintenace people, and those Jack of All
Trades, that helped to keep the world around us going. Some of us had most of
our lives volunteered time without pay, worked to wee hours into many weeks to
help another program get off to a good start to make other people happy..but now
what do you have to show for it but a tired out worn ole'body, ready it is.. to
clasps..How do you keep Peddling..when you need to climb, but you're not sure if
you can make it? It is not an Heroic conquering of the unknown that engages us,
it is the fat that you are not in a class alone-nor the only model person that
still needs to be disciplined and shown the determination that is out there..see
it in the sideline, turn your head a little and get at least a glimpse of
it..because of the nature of your disease you and you alone can take this
illness by the hand and push it along..frontward or backwards, upwards, or
downwards..the choice is yours. Lets take the person, that made up their mind to
do something about it..they got up and begin to do the things they once loved to
do..gradually they could dance, sing,do art, clean house, play with the animals,
chase after kids, and even fix meals..they found out that NOT giving UP was what
the one key was to making it all work again..Exercising, little by little,
learning to take into those bad lungs some fresh air, by going outside everyday
and breath in and out..ATTITUDE! wow! what a difference Attitudes make in
getting better..in healing process. Sure you may struggle up that hill, it will
be slowly, it may at times become very painful..but again the strength will come
gradually..it is not if you're going to win or loose..you are playing this game
only with yourself at the moment..But again you're not alone..because on this
same pathway you will meet another person that is struggling too...I know that,
for Mel and I are two other people on your same level..so please move over and
let us have an inch of that road to share. Years ago I was stationed in a chair.
It had two wheels that had to be turned in order for me to get from room to
room. I struggled to get from the chair to the bed.And after I was in bed I
struggled often to sit back up and be able to dangle my feet, just in order to
slide my body over to a port-pot, or to get my romp upon a bedpan..I was unable
often times to even make my arms move..so I know what it is like to be spending
my entire life at that time struggling to get better, or just lay there and die
in self-pity. I knew I didn't want to become so feeble I had to be waited on
hand and foot..many years I struggled with one thing or another, until stress
finally nearly put me into the grave along side my youngest son..Cancer nearly
took over, and my emotions of distress ran high..I was becoming not only for
Mel, but mainly myself a basket case. I was not pushing myself up that mountain,
I was not trying to even pull a little on a life-line to yank me back up to the
first curve to see what was on the other side..in fact at the moment I had cared
less. I was so low, I doubted that I could even come back to the
happy-go-lucky-person I had once been, Eager, full of joy, able to reach out to
help others in their own struggles. Yet I also knew at the same time I couldn't
serve God as well in the condition I was either. This is when I called upon him
to come into my life and give me the strength I was in need of..to again clear
my mind of all the wrong thoughts and give to me those positive ones..To take
away my self-pity..But at the same time I told him that if I wasn't worth saving
than to just take me, because the way things were I was done trying to climb
another mole hill. I had to come to the place that I forgot myself and had to
rely upon God who was stronger, and wiser than myself..I didn't want to loose my
Ministry..I had a congregation that needed to see a miracle in this day and age
we live in. One can not preach that God heals, when the _Pastor is down in bed
unable to function..One can not tell another how to build up Faith, when their
Pastor has nearly lost their own..I had a mountain to climb, I had a life to
find again, I had a body that needed attention badly..I had many headaches that
needed to be taken away..I had a pain in my leg where the cancer was taking
over, and I wanted to keep this leg awhile longer to be able to walk..not use
crutches or have to live in a wheelchair all my life.. I knew I had to take heed
and handle it well..I wanted to be effective again..I had to find out how to
number my own days, and how to see a different view ahead. " A cheerful Heart is
good Medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" This verse in Proverbs
17:22.. haunted me day and night. It picked at my mind like someone would use a
toothpick in there teeth until they bleed..The blood of Christ was again filling
my vessel with a glow-a desire to live, to teach: And this verse came to me
often as well." Teach us to number our days as well (aright), that we may gain a
heart of wisdom." Psalms 90:12. Here is when I begin to handle the situation
when I focus myself back to realization and keeping God one step ahead of my
clumsy feet..Learning to walk again was not easy. I ache, and the pains were not
easy to take. I gritted my teeth with every pressure of the leg, pushing on my
foot. During my darkest hours, the people from the Church would come to help
cheer me on. Dottie and Mable, they never left me alone for one minute when they
seen the struggling and the tears rolling down my cheek. Prayer..oh how we did
pray, around the clock for my strength to get better. Soon I gained a
perspective, and I aimed for the highest peek. I wanted to become useful again
in the Ministry and Evangelistic work for the Lord. Satan was not about to shut
this door into my face again. I wanted what was in the Heaven's storehouse..it
was mine I knew for the taking..but I had to learn to reach out to get it,
before Satan snatched it out of my hands like a greedy child. I didn't want a 5
cent candy bar I wanted that larger box that cost $35,00 big smack-a-roos. Why
not it belonged to me..it was a gift from God. Once I again gave my entire body
back to God, my wisdom also begin to grow.,.and the faith along with each day,
as things in my body begin to change. I look back now knowing God couldn't have
healed me all at once..my body would have not taken the SHOCK! of it. My mind
would have EXPLODED! sometimes healing that comes gradually, seems to mean
more..it did to me. Something's happen in life which we have no control. When
things happen like when we get a disease, we have to get to the root of it to
find out why did it happen to me? Sometimes we have worn ourselves out and God
has to put us into a situation to wake us up to some spiritual well being..or in
my case He was showing me how to find the proper foods to eat..that medical
alone is not enough for the body when it begins to break down..I ha to learn to
see joy even in the least of it. I had to learn to look at my family in a
different way, and laugh even when they were not funny..I had to learn to
control my anger, and care less what people may think of me..I learned by
reading, and listening to God that stress would kill me quicker than anything
else..that my body needed exercise..I had to find a new level in the morning
hours to sustain me the rest of the day. Stress can breakdown the protective
lining in our blood vessels, leading to cholesterol buildup and heart
disease..it can also cause cancers to et us alive..Yet at the same time I
learned that laughter was reversing the illness around..When the Church and
other friends and family came to put on skits..that were so funny I'd catch
myself laughing for hours and days afterwards. When I was laughing I learned I
was telling my body that this stressful circumstance isn't going to take over in
the wrong way..and if I was able to laugh I was able to continue each day to get
stronger..If I left fear creep in..then surely I deserved to die..It was after I
learned to sit up in bed one day, read God's word, the verses given here..and
exercising not only my brain, but making my arms and legs do simple movements..I
begin to notice the change..I had to also learn that you can not be feeling
sorry for yourself, and want self-pity all the time. I had a family to take care
of and children that still needed me, and a husband that had to get back to his
own normal day of work-loads. I wanted to LIVE..and be USED in a greater way
than before. Abraham Lincoln himself laughed in the darkest hour he had humor,
during the Civil War, was criticized for his jolliness..to which he replied."
With the fearful strain that is on me, if I do not laugh, I should die." So like
Abe I begin to laugh, even over the dumbest things. Like one day I seen this
ant, trying to grab hold of a piece of cracker I had dropped on the ground
beside my feet while sitting outside in the wheelchair. That ant kept dropping
it and another came along and took it away. Then the weak-ant would again go and
try to get it back..I watched this go on for a long while until they ended up
what looked like fighting over this now crumb they had made. Survival to
win..that ant not only made me laugh, but also gave me a goal to
follow..DETERMINATION to make it. So armed in wisdom..I can do it..and if I can
so can YOU. Or are you going to sit, or lay there angry, because you seem to be
on the wrong side of the world..alone in your own pitiful way? Get up and climb
that last meter, suck in that last fresh air, grab yourself an apple and place
it on your own head, and looking in a mirror..shoot it off, careful not to
shatter the image in front of you..daydreams can come to life..mine did. JOY
another secret word..JOY, can emerge from any valley, and looking up that
mountain will not be so hard to climb. So here I am..offering to you a piece of
the rock..That is Christ Jesus..and before him there is no stumbling blocks, no
pebbles in the pathway to make you stumble..what is to be ..will be..New bones
can and will form in that body..new cells will take over the dead ones..there is
no such thing as failure..and the old scars will soon vanish And once more you
will have a new mission in life.
Love Miz Judy..
(this will be in my book)
Written while on Vacation August..2002 Climbing a Bad Land Mountain one
afternoon..when I was scared to death of falling over and meeting my doom, or
grabbing onto Mel and taking him along with me over the graveled edge..so loose
that even an ant wouldn't make it.